Last week we looked at the importance of sharing information and not hoarding it. This week we're focusing on how communication needs to be a two-way street. Leaders who power over their followers will never really hear what they have to say or receive the feedback necessary for effective change.
“Feedback is the breakfast of champions,” Ken Blanchard tells his audiences. We need to create safe places in which honest and open feedback can be shared. We must respectfully listen without judgment, not forming quick opinions or counterattacks. Consider the difference between dialogue and discussion.
Discussion is like a Ping Pong game. You bat the issue back and forth in order to build consensus toward making a decision. It can also be more adversarial, turning into a debate in which one party becomes the winner. There’s a place for discussion and debate. But consider the power of having a dialogue first.
Dialogue is all about building shared meaning. It fosters authentic relationship development and encourages effective collaboration by encouraging inquiry before advocating your position. William Isaacs, in his book—Dialogue and the Art of Thinking Together—proposes four basic competencies or behaviors in dialogue.
First is voicing; people must be allowed to share their voice—who they are and what they think. Second is listening; often we listen with our minds already made up instead of practicing empathic listening which is listening with our ears, eyes, and heart. What if we truly attempted to understand the other person and where they were coming from? Third is respecting another person made in God’s image. We value a person's own ideas and opinions based on their experiences and knowledge. Fourth is suspending in which we suspend or hold our judgment and try to look at the issues objectively from different angles.
Before effective change can occur, dialogue should be initiated to gain perspective and clarify the pros and cons. It generates a larger knowledge base from everyone’s experiences and ultimately builds authentic relationships. True inquiry into the nature of things occurs as people respectfully listen and are given a chance to voice their ideas and opinions.
