Last week we looked at becoming a more active in listening by asking good questions and seeking clarification. Today I'd like to discuss a few more tips such as reflecting feelings, using alert body language, and sustaining eye contact.

First, reflect feelings. People's feelings about issues are usually much more powerful than their thinking or reasoning about them. So acknowledge their emotional side by saying something like, “I can tell that you’ve been deeply impacted by this issue. Tell me why you feel so strongly.” Allowing them to express their emotions gives you a deeper connection with them.

Second, use alert body language. Assuming a slouching position, allowing your eyes to wander, or leaning back in your chair with your arms crossed communicates distinterest at best and defiance at worst. So maintain an attentive posture. If you’re seated, lean forward slightly. This will signal to the speaker that you are interested in what they have to say. And smile—encourage the speaker with warmth and genuine interest.

Third, sustain eye contact, especially in a North American context. Allowing your eyes to wander makes the person speaking to you think you’re disinterested. It also comes across as disrespectful.

Simple, practical tips, yet these can make such a difference in improving your listening skills. Consider how much you appreciate people listening to you when they look at you, lean in to catch every word you say, and engage you on an emotional level.