To become a better listener learn how to periodically summarize what the speaker is saying and guard against reacting to criticism.

A good listener reflects back to the person who is speaking to them what they are hearing (“So what you’re saying is that…”​). This communicates that you are paying attention and really trying to understand what they are saying.​ It also ensures that you are hearing the other person correctly. Periodically summarizing helps build relational capital and wins for the listener the right to be heard on something they wish to communicate back.

Lastly, acknowledge criticism without reacting. This can actually pave the way toward reconciliation if that is necessary. Acknowledging criticism communicates that you value their input and are willing to evaluate what is being said.​ On the other hand, reacting simply erects higher walls.

Stephen R. Covey once said, “Everyone’s life is so singular, so unique. Who will listen to understand that uniqueness?”​ When you and I take time to listen we are valuing each unique individual made in the image of God.​ Furthermore, we are opening up ourselves to learn something new, and if nothing else, developing character while blessing another human being.​

[Next week I’ll take a deeper dive into the meaning of empathic listening.]