Last week we discussed the concept of an emotional bank account . Today I’d like to build on that with a look at some practical considerations.

It’s vitally important to affirm another person and demonstrate a caring attitude, even if you do not agree with their decisions, beliefs, or behaviors. Affirming them as a person is your first priority—it will also equip you with social capital to invest in their lives and perhaps bring about positive change. So here are some do’s and don’ts:

1. Do find things that you can speak positively about. “Catch people doing the right things” is some of the best parenting and management advice I’ve ever heard.
2. Don’t say mean things. The uglier our words, the less we will communicate. Unfair criticism chips away at a person’s dignity and puts them on the defensive.
3. Do speak the truth in love. “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver” (Proverbs 25:11 ESV).
4. Don’t yell. The louder your words are, the less your team member will hear.
5. Do small things to express appreciation. Keep your “I love you’s!” up to date and take time to write specific words of appreciation and encouragement on notes for people at work. Consistency is key.
6. Don’t forget. Remember, sins of omission (actions not taken) are some-times as great as those of commission (actions taken). Be intentional.
7. Do keep your disputes at a local level as much as possible. Work things out privately.
8. Do not dispute your issue in front of those who are not involved or it will make it bigger as it causes them to take sides.