Last week I wrapped up my five-part series on dialogue. This week I'd like to look at four different types of people when it comes to listening.

First, the judgmental listener. This person believes he needs to make a judgment call on everything he hears. Good, bad, right, wrong, black, white. Everything falls into one of two categories. There’s a seeming inability to simply listen…from his perspective a response is warranted.

Next is the interrogative listener. Questions, questions, questions. This person wants to know all the details. But rather than truly listening to what the speaker feels is most important to know, this listener is forming more questions rather than paying attention.

Third on my list are advice-giving listeners. They’ve got answers no matter what you’re going through. They are on a mission to fix your problems and will take great pains to do so with stellar advice. Reminds me of those times when my wife has to “fix” my bad listening skills with these words: “Don’t try to fix me…just listen.”

Lastly, the highest level of listening—empathic. This is done by one who truly identifies with the speaker, who tries to understand, who inwardly takes notes on the speaker’s words, feelings, and body language. An empathic listener simply seeks to understand, following the advice of James 1:19, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak.”

This isn’t to say that one should never give advice, ask questions, or pass judgment. However, as Proverbs 18:13 points out: “He who answers before listening—that is his folly and shame.”