Today in our ongoing discussion on resolving conflicts, I’d like to return to Ephesians 4 with a focus on verse 29 and the first part of 32: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen... Be kind and compassionate to one another”.

My wife Amy purchased a suction cup shelf for our bathtub at a garage sale soon after we moved back from Southeast Asia. (And of course it didn’t work—“suction cup thingys” never do!)

She never should have bought it...she wasted a few precious quarters on that thing...what was she thinking?! Those and a few other choice thoughts rushed through my mind...I conjured up all types of responses I would say to her—all surrounding the logic that would have defied such a purchase (yes, yes, all over a suction cup device! And a few quarters—seriously? I’m still laughing thinking back about it!).

But then a check in my spirit—“Luke, BE KIND.” Just a simple message—“Be kind.” See, I could have started a huge conflict over something so small, so inconsequential...just a silly little plastic shelf. But kindness was the right response, and thankfully, the Spirit prompted me to be kind…and not get on her case about buying a piece of junk.

A small thing, you say...well, maybe, but it’s the “small foxes that spoil the vines” (Song of Solomon 2:15). Many large disputes start from very small things and small issues often get blown way out of proportion. Just consider that all it might take to prevent or defuse a conflict is one word of kindness, a compassionate response, a moment of empathy, and an attempt at thinking the best of another instead of the worst.

Be kind.