Change is also difficult because there’s a tendency to focus on loss more than on gains. Most people will first consider what they are giving up before thinking about what will be gained in the process. For example, if I told you that eating less carbs will make you more alert, sharpen your thinking and help you lose weight, you might first think about all the bread, donuts, and cakes you need to quit eating—at least if you have a sweet tooth like me!

Sometimes we're too quick to sell the “advantages” or proclaim the positive gains before a person has truly counted the cost. Leaders should not dismiss the loss but deal with that first, allowing one to think through their decision rather than make a quick emotional one that cannot be sustained in the future. When that happens—a person experiences a relapse or reverts back to their former ways—future change becomes even harder as that person has inoculated against it!

To help someone evaluate the cost of what they are giving up, show them positive gains that are greater than the loss. Refocus on the future, showing how the change becomes a win in the long run. 

In Matthew 19:16-30 Jesus addressed a wealthy young man who could not see past his temporal wealth to the eternal wealth he would gain by giving up everything to follow Jesus. He walked away with a heavy heart missing out on the gains Jesus shared with his disciples: “…everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.”